Meeting Cathleen
by ArtsyPaige
Summary: Xibalba disguises himself as a security guard at the museum to watch over the Book of Life. Or at least that's what he claims. When La Muerte finds out, she decides to teach him a lesson.


Even though La Muerte had specifically said _not _to interfere in the affairs of men, she never said that he couldn't disguise himself as a human to scare children. Of course, only every now and then… There was no harm in having a little fun. He decided to work as a security guard at the museum in which the Book of Life was held. He told Candlemaker that he wanted to work with the humans, to keep the book safe. That held **highest **priority. But he made Candlemaker keep his mouth shut to La Muerte. He couldn't have Candlemaker babbling _every_ secret Xibalba had to her.

What Xibalba **didn't** know was that Candlemaker told her anyway. Mind you, he did try to keep his mouth shut about it. But keeping secrets from La Muerte was… _not _an easy task. She was finally able to dig the secret out of him with enough annoyed, angry glares, that scared every drop of wax out of him.

To his surprise, La Muerte wasn't as **mad **as he had expected her to be. She almost seemed amused. As she smiled devilishly to herself, Candlemaker wondered how much of a hot mess Xibalba would be when she was through with him.

She then asked that Candlemaker keep this a secret between them, she wanted to, **teach **Xibalba a lesson on deceiving others. Candlemaker just nodded his head, unsure of what plan La Muerte was brewing.

When she teleported herself, most likely to choose her own disguise and apply for a job at the museum, he sighed. "Man, why am _I _always the one who has to be stuck in between them like the ham on a sandwich…" Candlemaker grumbled to himself, shoulders slumped as he went on his business, creating some more candles.

* * *

><p>"Yes, hello, I'd like to apply for the job of tour guide?" La Muerte, in her new disguise, asked sweetly to the man in charge of the museum. Mr. Rogers, looking over the woman's forms, was unsure on what to make of the situation. She seemed highly qualified for the job, actually, <em>over <em>qualified for the job. She had green eyes, dark brown hair that flowed down to her back and beautifully light-tan skin. (La Muerte took careful precautions to make sure she wouldn't be recognized by Xibalba at first glance) _Well, if she wants to work here, who am I to stop her? _He thought to himself. Clearing his throat, he said, "Alright then, you seem well enough to work here, Miss…?" "Cathleen" La Muerte, _Cathleen _answered to him, with a smile.

* * *

><p>Xibalba, or <em>Xavier <em>as he named himself, was making his usual rounds. As a security guard, his human disguise looked very similar to himself. Quite a tall stature with large chest, nicely tanned skin, and his signature mustache and beard, only instead of their usual white, they were a dark gray color. He even gave himself some hair, which was rather nice, _much _better than the bald shiny top he usually had. He prided himself in his good looks, with even some of the human women swooning over him. He didn't care though, the only women's attention _he _wanted was La Muerte's. But if she knew that some of these women flirted with him, he would be sent to the Land of the Cursed faster than he could say sorry.

Suddenly, a bumbling young man by the name of Luis came up to him. "Xavier! Amigo! You have **got** to get a load of _this." _Luis said, almost excited. "What is it? Did Mr. Rogers finally _die_?" Xavier chuckled. Rolling his eyes, Luis answered "_No, _we got a new employee and I gotta tell ya, she is _hot, _I'm talking volcano _hot."_ Skeptical in Luis's choices in women, Xavier only raised an eyebrow, attempting to continue his walk, but Luis was very determined to show him this new employee. Without another word, he almost violently pulled Xavier by the arm to the central area. Apparently the whole _staff _seemed to be here, a fact Xavier noticed, something they never did with new employees.

When he turned his head up towards Mr. Rogers and the new employee, he almost gasped. _Almost._

The women stood before them, sporting a tour guide uniform, and smiling sweetly (one might say _too _sweetly) at her fellow employees. Xavier could feel the men practically drooling, and he knew that at least 2/3 of them were married. He was almost disappointed in them, married men, falling under the influence by one pretty woman, when they had their own wives they should be worshipping over. Himself included, though he'd never admit _that_.

"So, this is Cathleen. She's new here, so I want everyone to be nice to her and help her out if she needs it. Okay? Okay then." Mr. Rogers said, indifferently. If there was one thing Xibalba admired about Mr. Rogers, it was how he never seemed to be emotional toward anything. Sure this made him boring, but Xibalba respected that he wasn't gawking over Cathleen.

When Mr. Rogers was done, he walked back up the stairs to his office, leaving Cathleen to fend for herself , as she was suddenly greeted by many people all at once. She frantically turned her eyes around the crowd, meeting Xavier's eyes for a moment.

Xavier scoffed, rolling his eyes as he headed back to check on the Book of Life.

* * *

><p>Cathleen was surrounded by many of the museum's employees, many men but fewer women. She had to admit, she was growing annoyed by how much attention she was getting. She knew for a fact that many of these men were married and yet they were still here, <em>shamelessly <em>flirting with her.

Then, thank the gods, the clock rang for 10 o'clock. It was opening time. The crowd slowly began to disappear around herself, and she soon found herself alone. Taking a deep breath, she smoothed out the uniform, and walked off to try and find Xibalba. If she were correct, this should be about the time that he went to check on the Book of Life. Exiting through the front entrance, she walked into the cut off wall to the right of the museum, invisible to humans, unless a god or goddess summoned the passage way to enter.

With a wave of her hand, she revealed the passage, taking a step in, and closing it back up again. It was very dark. She summoned a flashlight with the flick of her wrist, following the long hallway. Walking for a minute or so, she suddenly bumped her face against a wall. No? Not a wall, it was wooden. This was the door. Turning the handle, she looked around the beautifully decorated room. When she looked straight ahead, she found a security guard walking up to inspect the Book of Life.

From the back, she could see a tall man, with dark gray hair and a very boarding chest. If she wasn't trying to keep her identity a secret, she would have burst out laughing. But she calmed herself, taking a few deep breaths and walked forward. Her heels making a faint, clicking sound. She saw him tense. Spinning around with a wild look in his eyes, he relaxed when he saw that it was only Cathleen.

"Hello, I do believe I don't know your name." Cathleen said, with a sweet smile of hers. She could see Xavier restraining to show any annoyance. "_Xavier_." He answered, hands behind him, almost protectively standing in front of the Book of Life. She flashed him another sweet smile, walking towards him, as he stood there, like deer in a headlight, unsure of what to do now. "What's that behind you?" She asked him, pointing to the book. "This old thing? Just another relic here, displayed for the knowledge of children, I suppose." He said indifferently, trying to pass the Book of Life of as another boring artifact with no real value to it.

"I see." Cathleen answered, starting to creep towards him.

* * *

><p>He hadn't been paying attention before, but <em>now <em>he was. He felt his stomach turn inside out. If only La Muerte were here to save him… Then at least she'd know that he wasn't cheating on her, that it wasn't what it looked liked. How on earth this _witch _got in here he'll never know. Perhaps he left the passage way open? Then he felt a finger, twirling his mustache, snapping him out of his thoughts. Cathleen was only getting closer to him, and when he tried to back out, he felt his back pressed against the Book of Life. He was trapped.

He gulped nervously, eyeing the dangerous woman. She was saying something about how handsome he was, about to pull him into a venomous kiss, when he decided enough was _enough _and swiftly pushed her away. "_Get. Away. From. __**Me.**_" he forcefully spat out, lining his words with disgust. Cathleen blinked, almost as if she had just blown her cover for something. She bit her lip, La Muerte had forgotten for a brief moment that she wasn't _herself_, but Cathleen, taking in Xavier's handsome features.

Stepping back, she could feel the heat and anger in his voice as he almost shouted, "I have a _wife_. And I love her more than anything I could ever possibly care for. And if you think I was going to ruin my marriage for some devil like _you, _you are surely mistaken." going on and on about his wife and how much he cared for her.

La Muerte almost had to hold back tears, she had went too far, trying to tempt Xibalba into loving another woman, when he only ever wanted her. She could feel a lump forming in her throat, but she swallowed it, remembering why she had started all of this in the first place.

Pulling a smug smirk on her face, she enjoyed Xavier's bewildered and worried expression. "I know you do, _Xibalba._" Cathleen said, watching as Xavier did a double take, mouth wide open. With a wave of her hand and a twirl, she revealed herself as La Muerte, Queen of the Land of the Remembered.

She giggled, enjoying Xavier's mouth-opened look. He snapped out of it, chuckling and transformed himself into Xibalba, King of the Land of the Forgotten.

"My dear, you never cease to amaze me." he said, gliding towards his wonderful wife. La Muerte giggled again, "Well I have to teach you a lesson for always trying to trick people, _don't I?_". He laughed, "Yes, I suppose you do, don't you?" as he took his wife into her arms and kissed her forehead.

* * *

><p>After that lesson was learned, Xavier decided to announce that he was marrying, Cathleen. Because yes, he loved La Muerte enough that he would marry her again, even as humans in disguise, and to devestate the unfaithful men just for the fun of it. They both quit their jobs and left, pretending they were living off in Spain somewhere, happily in love. But they realized they would still need to look after the Book of Life, so instead of bringing back their Cathleen and Xavier, they made new human disguises. La Muerte as the red haired tour guide, Mary Beth. And Xibalba as the old grumpy security guard, Guicho.<p> 


End file.
